Getting into the Right Relationship with Money
An addendum to my manifesto setting the intention for Year 3 of Project 52.
Having published the manifesto setting my intention for Year 3 of Project 52, I was left with a feeling of mild dissatisfaction — like it wasn’t as powerful as my previous two manifestos. The truth is that it lacked a punch — a certain raw authenticity that is characteristic of this newsletter.
So consider this as an addendum to my manifesto — to address the truth about why I intend to ‘tap into abundance…’.
I had published a version of this newsletter exclusively to my inner circle of friends, clients, and well-wishers — one month before I even started Year 3. But making it public feels like the right thing to do.
The format here is based on the process of “spiritual alchemy” or the Right Relationships Process — “shadow work” that helps you embody the right spirits in any particular area of your life.
This newsletter will trace the history of my relationship with money, identify the incompletions and close the Karmic Loops, and invite Dharmic alignment into my relationship with money.
I have been spiritually bypassing my feelings around money for many years.
I have been using my spiritual journey as an excuse to ignore my need for money. I have allowed myself to be trapped in a mindset of scarcity and lack. I have lied to myself saying “it’s okay to not focus on money.”
I see that my mission in this lifetime involves tapping into an abundance of money, power, and influence. I have ignored this aspect and I have been playing small. I cannot do that anymore. This is the first and foremost reason why my intention for Year 3 is to “tap into abundance through leverage, with love”.
And I cannot fulfil my intention unless I shift my attitude toward money.
The History of My Relationship with Money
When I was a kid, my parents were strapped for cash. But they spared no expense in giving me the best education available. They enrolled me in the first CBSE school in Mangalore from 2nd grade onwards.
But because I was trapped in my childhood trauma of there being “something wrong with me,” I’d always compare myself to some of my rich classmates living the “best lives”. They had internet connections and Orkut profiles. They lived in big, beautiful houses and travelled by car. They would go out to eat yummy food often. I would hang out with them sometimes, but I didn’t feel “cool enough” to belong with them.
This gave rise to the false beliefs that I “don’t have enough” and “I’m not enough”.
The pattern continued in college as well. I didn’t get as much pocket money as my peers and couldn’t party or travel as much as they did. Just like in school, I would hang out with the cool kids, but I didn’t feel like I was cool myself.
When I started working and earning money, I was already proceeding with the unconscious assumption that “I don’t have enough”. This belief led me to act from a space of lack — I never had enough and whatever I had was not enough.
The result was a fundamental lack of appreciation for the money that I had and a disregard for creating financial freedom for myself.
Years later, when I signed up for the Landmark Forum, I became present to this feeling of incompleteness, of lack — the void of “not having enough” and “not being enough”. In Landmark, we are reminded that we are already whole, complete and perfect. My first breakthrough in the program was realizing that I had ignored the importance of money in my life.
I was in Bangalore from 2016 to 2019. During that time, I started a company of my own, taking on significant debt. In 2017, when I realized that the venture was going to fail, I jumped from one thing to another, making just enough money to pay off my debt and survive in Bangalore, while also staying true to my path.
The feeling of “not having enough” tortured me all the time. The years from 2017 to 2019 were dark — I was carrying the weight of my debt and I felt trapped.
But after Landmark, I realized that I had to sort out my foundations before I could build anything of significance in the world. I had to go back to the basics and sort my shit out. I had just started getting freelance work that I could do remotely — earning enough money to pay off my debts.
So in late 2019, I decided to go back home.
Back home, I had more breathing room. I could work to earn more and quickly pay off my debts. I could also focus on my path and the well-being of my family.
In May 2020, I started Project 52 to establish a foundation for my physical, mental, and spiritual well-being. A year later, I started Year 2 of Project 52 to digest the emotional roadblocks holding me back.
Both these endeavours helped me sort myself out and establish a solid foundation for my life ahead. And almost like magic, my work started to make a difference in the world. Several people around me started to find value in it. I finally had the opportunity to make money doing what I love!
I cleared my debts in June 2021. It felt like a weight was off my shoulders.
But as I look at my life right now, the feeling of “not having enough” is still governing my psyche. So before I can take my work out into the world and monetize it, I need to shift my attitude toward money. I cannot operate from a space of lack and expect to receive abundance.
In the past, I was primarily driven by compulsion and desperation — by fear and scarcity. Year 1 and Year 2 of Project 52 freed me from this trap. As I step into Year 3 of Project 52, I am increasingly operating from a space of freedom and wholeness — cruising along the timeline of love and abundance!
To truly step into this highest timeline of mine, I have to release all that doesn’t serve me. And the belief of “not having enough” money no longer serves.
Closing the Karmic Loops
To cut the cords between myself and this belief of “not having enough”, I bring to mind all those who have given me money in my life so far. I thank them for believing in me and seek their forgiveness for not sufficiently appreciating the gifts that they have given me.
I seek forgiveness from the people I borrowed money from and whom I unconsciously haven’t paid back.
I thank those who spent their money on me, buying things or experiences for me.
I release any debts that are owed to me. I forgive those who haven’t paid me back.
I release any feelings of anger or resentment I have towards myself for not investing my money wisely in the past.
I release the feeling that I lack money.
This section is heavily redacted. In the original version, I have written about specific relationships from my past where money was involved — my parents, the people and organizations I worked with, the people who loaned me money — and closed the Karmic Loop in each case. Of course, it’s not enough to just write. I have personally expressed these feelings and thoughts to the people involved, in the cases where that was feasible and necessary.
Inviting Dharmic Alignment
In Mother Nature, For Father Future.
By your grace… I invite abundance into my relationship with money.
With your blessings, I declare that… I have all the money that I presently need and I appreciate it with all my heart.
With your blessings, I declare that… I have an ever-increasing capacity to create financial freedom for myself and my loved ones.
With your blessings, I declare that… All the money that I ever need will come to me and I'm grateful for it with all my heart.
With your blessings, I declare that… I am provided for and taken care of. I invest and spend my money in alignment with my Dharma.
Tathastu!
This was a good read. I could relate to parts of it. Whether we like it or not, money can buy happiness, in some ways.